Today I’m sharing my personal journey with menopause. This post is made possible with support from AARP’s Disrupt Aging. As always, all opinions are my own. For more on the Disrupt Aging Campaign you can click here
Saluting The Real Mid-life Pioneers
I’m very grateful that menopause is no longer referred to as “change of life.” Labeling women and/or being referred to as going through “her change” was not only degrading, but extremely hurtful. Many years ago, with little information as to what menopause was and how our bodies reacted, women went through hormonal and emotional years of torment wondering what was happening to them.
Just hearing the words change of life would have instantly made me feel as though others viewed me as a different person. With so little information available as to what was happening to them, menopause took a toll on numerous women before us.
Years ago no one was well informed about menopause.
Menopause was somewhat taboo. In the sixties and seventies doctors aggressively handed out prescriptions of valium to women who were trying to cope with the strange and unfamiliar emotions they felt.
I saw this with my mother. I was in my teens when I came home, and I saw her crying while washing the bathroom floor. A few days later she went to the doctor and came home with a prescription for valium. My father then informed us that she was going through “her change” and we all needed to be patient with her. I was too young to really comprehend, but I remember seeing the pills and thinking they would make her feel better. I gathered this was a typical diagnosis for a woman in menopause. My mom had her moods, and some days were better than others, but thankfully she never became addicted to Valium as many other women unfortunately had.
Hormones are overpowering at times. They can control our reactions, and how we feel both physically and emotionally. Hormones can literally make you feel like a stranger to yourself. We are still grasping for further findings about the strength in hormones. Knowing just this bit of information unfortunately allows me to understand how the term Change of life may have come about.
I’m not sure when they stopped referring to menopause as the change of life but it’s relieving that it’s no longer referenced as such. Luckily today we have more clear facts on what a woman’s body undergoes during menopause.
My Personal Experience
Let me first say that everyone experiences menopause differently. I believe that while we can share information and stories, the outcome of what works for one woman will be different from another women’s experience. I first started thinking about menopause in my early forties when I was at neighborhood bunco and the ladies were all talking about Suzanne Somers recent book about perimenopause. It was an eye opener for me as I realized that I was already in perimenopause. Looking back, I wish I knew then what I know now about perimenopause as I would not have been so critical of myself.
I had my moodiness; I know I had a particular outburst that I can’t take back. My husband jokingly called me physco mama. I had years of night sweats, uncontrollable hot flashes, and I cried very easily. There were days I would feel angry from the moment I awoke for no reason at all. It’s a small miracle that I managed to get through all ten years of menopause without taking any medication, herbal remedies, or HRT. During this time, I might have made a few enemies and embarrassed myself, but I endured the climacteric battle. I’m definitely calmer now, and I understand that it was just a transitional part of my life. I’m still the same person, menopause did not steal way my identity.
Now a days I’m dealing with the aftermath of menopause which is weight gain, dry skin, and brittle hair. Women will all experience menopause differently. I have friends that have said that HRT saved them. I have friends that needed small doses of anxiety medication to help them. The important thing to note here is that we are much more knowledgeable about menopause and it’s symptoms. Doctors have more information and better resources. Hopefully our daughters and our granddaughter’s experiences will not be as dreadful because we are farther educated and have much healthier remedies.
I have complete respect and adoration for the women who fearfully endured menopause decades ago. They were the real mid–life pioneers! Those women did the best they could to survive the phenomena of menopause. Women today have gained incredibly from their tribulations. The most important advice I can pass along to younger women is that our bodies may change but your identity does not, you are still you. It’s not a change of life, it’s just a phase of life, remember that.
HRT including testosterone is a game changer. You do not have to experience mood swings outbursts night sweats tears wrinkling frail skin and excessive weight gain.
I went to an OBGYN for years and one visit told me I had to be in menopause for a year before talking about these things…. Its time for a new doctor ladies!! My younger female doctor is much more in tune with what you can do to thrive during menopause- with regular medical monitoring to ensure you are not doing something you shouldn’t do. Don’t wrestle through this alone – seek qualified medical help for all phases of life ladies!
Thank you Pam! We all need the support and encouragement from each other. It’s nice that women are starting to speak about menopause and it’s no longer a subject kept in the closet. I’m happy that you reached out to me and shared your story.
My Best,
Nancy
Thanks Nancy! Cheers to the 50’s! Have been my best yet!
Great to hear Pam! It’s best to appreciate as much as we can everyday 🙂
Have a great rest of the week!
Nancy
Your explanation is so correct when you say , “A new Phase of life.”
As someone who is well on the other side, I can testify that all your points are spot on!
We are still the same person we always were. But, we need to stay aware that this is a time of change in our bodies just like puberty, pregnancy, etc. And we should seek medical help and advice throughout the process. Plus,
remembering that we are all different and ours symptoms will vary.
Great post Nancy!
Rosemary
Thank you so much Rosemary! This really means a lot to me and I appreciate you taking the time to email and let me know that you liked my story.
My Best,
Nancy
Thanks. I’m not sure I think menopause being called the change is demeaning. I think the bigger problem was doctors did not understand and didn’t know how to handle women going through menopause. Thankfully we are starting to take more responsibility for our health. I think until we accept and embrace transitions in our life journey, it’s difficult to expect others to embrace us. I say menopause, like period is something we experience as women. How we handle those experiences will usually define how we are treated. Great post. Thanks for sharing your personal experience.
Good Morning,
Very good point, “How we handle those experiences will usually define how we are treated.” Thank you for taking the time to email and express your thoughts. I do feel that women are starting to take on responsibility about health, but we still have a long way to go. Speaking out and sharing our journey’s will help this along. It was very nice to hear from you.
Have a wonderful week,
Nancy,
This is a very insightful and informative article.
Since, I am a few years older than you, I can testify that menopause is truly not a change of life, but a phase. And that it happens to each of us as differently as puberty happened to us all differently.
The most important experience of my menopause transition was to be open and talk with my medical practitioners. Because the symptoms can duplicate more serious conditions and should always be checked.
One of my challenges was food allergies that occurred as my hormones were changing. And, I needed to make changes to my diet with foods that had never bothered me before.
Rosemary
Distinctly Southern Style
Rosemary,
This information that you shared with me is very helpful. I became allergic to aspirin in my early forties. I almost died from taking two aspirin, it was very frightening as I had taken aspirin my entire life prior to that incident. Doctors did tell me that my body changed because of menstrual cycles but never once mentioned menopause. Looking back I was in peri menopause at the time, and it makes better since now. The good that came out of this is I can pass along better information to my daughter than I had from my mother. The woman before us were only at the mercy of what their doctors told them.
Thank you for emailing me I always enjoy hearing from you!
Have a great day,
Nancy
I’ve had a rough menopause..and many of my friends don’t even have hot flashes! Feels like Im rounding a corner!
Dear Judy,
I’m so very sorry to hear this. It’s unfortunate that menopause is so different for each of us, but having the support of one another is a blessing. I’m happy to hear that you are rounding the corner and almost done. It does get better and like I mentioned I’m much calmer about life now. Thank you for taking the time to email me.
Have a Great Week!
So true…. it is different for everyone. For me the hardest thing was the moodiness or irritability. As someone that likes to be in control, not having control of my emotions or feelings at time is hardest for me. Thank you for sharing
Good Morning Melanie,
Thank you for emailing me and letting me know how you experienced menopause. I’m just happy that now a days we can openly share our feelings amongst each other. I appreciate hearing everyone’s stories, as some I can relate to, and others impress me with their strength and endurance. I hope that menopause is mostly over for you, and you can enjoy better days. As I had mentioned in the article, I’m much calmer now.
Enjoy your week!
Respectfully,
Nancy